40 years of staying power

 

This weekend my husband is celebrating his 40th anniversary with his first wife (ironically, the same year I was born).  Catherine and Blair have endured the inevitable peaks and valleys that confront any relationship of that vintage. Instead of letting the many challenges erode their relationship, they have chosen to grow together, through parenting, divorce and new beginnings.

In fact, when Blair proposed to me, Catherine was the first to hear the good news. I’ll never forget the conversation we had after she demanded he put me on the line. “Jenny, you have just made the best decision of your life. Blair will be the most amazing husband and father you could ever ask for. Congratulations.” Even though their relationship had changed form, their love for each other was clearly evident.

At this point you’re likely wondering how the heck they do it, so I’ll share their winning formula.
1. They don’t sweat the small stuff: there are always opportunities to breed strife, but they let the small stuff slide.
2. They forgive quickly: I’ve witnessed them in a heated argument one moment and the next, they’re casually discussing a family matter. They get it out, address it and move on.
3. They have developed staying power: while most people skim the surface, moving from one superficial relationship to the other, Catherine and Blair remain committed to their friendship and their co-parenting responsibilities. 

Last weekend at the Berwick Yoga Fest, Peter Goodman spoke about mindfulness and the value of training the mind to stay present. When we embark on a spiritual practice—whether it’s on the cushion, the mat or in relationship—we train ourselves to stay and weather the storm (excluding abusive or unhealthy situations of course).

Where in your life could you gather your discipline and practice staying? Can you imagine the depth of fulfillment and connection that might be possible by persisting through the temptation to move on? Is there a relationship waiting for the sweetness of forgiveness in order for it to evolve?

Thank you Catherine and Blair for demonstrating staying power by enduring the imperfect and uncomfortable times to be able to celebrate this incredible landmark together.

With love for both of you,

Jenny
 

Comments

8

My relationship to my ex, Lesley, are also good - though probably not as close as Blair and his ex.   I believe once you love someone, the love is always there.  The essence of Les  that I fell in love with in 1971 is still a part of him.   We cannot happily   live together, but we can be friends and parents together.

 

Congrats to Blair and to you!

BEautiful Terry, thank you!

What a great testament to open vulerable hearts in a world where love is seen as scarce and people hold desperartely to jealously as if there is not enough compassion and gratitude to go around.

Thanks for contributing Pete, love sharing life with you!

Jenny

Profound .... We all wish relationships could be like the one Blair has with both Jenny n Catherine . Wow ...open hearts and maturity at best . Thanks for the great insight and this advice will help lots out there .... Keep spreading your love !! :))

Thanks Careen, we love sharing life with you!

Jenny

Hi Jenny,

 

I had the pleasure of running into Blair this past weekend at Wentworth Perk, and introduced myself (I have been thinking about taking the teacher training). Congrats to all of you for demonstrating what everyone should strive for with the end of a marriage. I am working pretty hard to find that with my soon to be ex. Right now its one sided (me) but my goal is to be in the same place as Blair and his ex. You are a shining example to many. Cheers to you both!

Shauna,

What a small world, isn't it? I am pleased you gleened inspiration from their relationship, hopefully we'll see you soon,

Jenny